#15 = 16

Today I am thankful for Alex - my "baby" who turns 16 today.  I cannot believe he is already 16!  Where have the years gone?  He took us by surprise when we found out he was on his way and again when he decided at 32 1/2 weeks he was ready to greet the world.  He has kept us laughing and smiling on a daily basis.  He loves life and is out to embrace every possible moment.  When at 13 we moved to Spain he chose to go to Spanish public school - without more than a handful of Spanish words in his vocabulary.  He signed up to play on the school soccer team and navigated the system while we stood in amazement.  After three years here in Spain - 3 years that involved 3 different schools, 3 different home towns, and a ton of other changes he is struggling with being gone from "home" for 4 months next year.

He has taught me so much.  One lesson I have learned from here in Spain is that a lot of life is about your attitude.  He was a picky eater forever.  When we arrived in Spain he proclaimed his new leash on life "I am going to like all foods."  Sure enough, he began to eat and attack foods that he wouldn't touch before.  The boy who ordered his hamburgers completely plain - no vegetables, no sauce - requested that I make cream of zucchini soup.  He loves fish and grilled salmon.  Did his taste buds change overnight?  Nope.  His attitude changed.  I wonder how many things if I would just wake up with a new attitude would have a better "taste" in my life?

I cannot imagine my life without Alex.  I am blessed to be able to call him my son!

#13 and 14 - The H's Have It

I recently told someone that moving to a foreign country is both the most humbling and humiliating thing you can do.  When you are forced to live in a country that speaks a different language, has a different value system, and does almost everything you have always done in a different manner you are going to find yourself both humbled and humiliated - sometimes at the same time.

#13 - The Humiliating Moments

Ok, don't laugh too hard that I am giving thanks for the humiliating moments.  Believe me, I wasn't laughing in the moments nor giving thanks for them.  In fact, I was doing just the opposite.  God and I have had quite a few "heated" discussions over the past three years!  But after the fact, sometimes long after the fact, I can say thanks for those moments.  Ok, maybe not all of them, but a lot of them have brought a ton of laughter and the retelling of them has been the source for some great friendship growth.

My favorite humiliating moment continues to be my first attempt at buying a Boston Butt in the meat store.  The cuts of meat in Spain do not match the cuts of meet in the US.  Why oh why does everything have to be different?  I did all my homework.... I figured out how to say it in Spanish, I studied cuts of meat and figured out where a Boston Butt came from and I went prepared to simply order my piece of meat.  Well, sometimes my life has a life of its own....  for quickly I figured out my meat man had no idea what I was asking for and I had no other resources up my sleeve.  I had a picture of a side of a pig so I tried showing him that.  Finally he says "un momento."  And I have hope.... until he returns from the freezer with an entire half of a pig.  The entire store is filled with abuelas (see prior post to understand how that would have gone).  The conversations stop.  The place is entirely quiet for what seemed like hours, although I am sure it was only seconds.  Finally the meat man starts pointing to different parts of the pig and then to my picture.   And finally, we matched up the parts and I walked away with 3+ kilos of pork (ok - by then, I just took what he cut - I didn't care what it cost nor how much I had - I just wanted out of there).  For my American friends - 3+ kilos is 7+ pounds.  I was going to be eating Barbecue forever, but I had succeeded.

#14 - The Humbling Moments


Do you remember the days when an encyclopedia was a set of 20+ books?  Well, if I were to begin to tell you every humbling moment I have experienced in the last 3 years you would have at least that many books.  There were seasons of this experience that humbling moments came everyday, sometimes more than once a day.  If you decide to learn a foreign language for the first time at 45+ years old, be prepared to be humbled.

How do I choose one story to tell you? 

I got my driver's license when I was 16.  Before coming to Spain I had driven for 30+ years. About 6 months after arriving I studied and studied for the written exam and passed it on my first try.  I know - how is that humbling?  Well, after the written part came the driving part.  After 30 years who would think that I would have trouble with the driving part.  I had heard all the stories, but for sure I thought I could do this.  And add to it that the other student in the car had automatically failed (he turned the wrong way on a one way street) and I made it all the way back to the driving center without an immediate fail.  Imagine my surprise when the examiner said I had failed.  What?  I had been driving for 30+ years!  I had stopped at all lights, parked perfectly, checked my mirrors every 15 to 20 seconds, and didn't go down any roads the wrong way.  Ha!  That wasn't enough.  Apparently in one of the round abouts I did not look over my should at all the exits.  Fail.  No go!  No license!  Another week of neither Scott nor I having a license.  And worse than that, I had tell the world I had failed.

Oh how much sweeter the pass was on the second try.

I wouldn't choose to repeat a single of the humbling moments, but on the other hand, I have learned a ton.  I have learned to lean on God in a new and more desperate way.  I have developed sympathy and empathy for many people in my life.  I have had to examine my own failures. 

And yes, I am sure there are more editions of this lesson to come.  I expect a few of those moments will come next year when we are in the states for several months and I experience culture shock in the opposite direction. 

People, People, Everywhere - #10, 11, and 12

We moved to Spain to share Christ with the people here.  This forced a change in perspective for us - we were here to be with people.  I know that sounds like a "duh" moment, but for Americans (or at least a lot of them) this is a big shift in mentality.  Us Americans tend to focus on the task and work and fill in the gaps with relationships.  By no means are Spaniards lazy - the majority of them work really hard - but they have their priorities/value system in a different order than ours.  They focus on relationships - a top priority for them is family and friends - and they fill in the gaps with work.  I have loved seeing this change occur in me as well and as a result I have met some incredible people over the past 3+ years.  I am so very blessed!

Sara Davila - my language tutor and friend

#10 - My Teachers 

Yep, almost 50 (oh my!) and I am still learning.  Over the past three years I have had a variety of teachers - ones that taught me Spanish, some that taught me Spanish culture, some that taught me the church culture, and others that have taught me how this new profession looks.  Those are my "formal" teachers, but along the way I have also met a variety of "teachers" who have taught me through emails, facebook chats, or just time spent over a cup of coffee.  I feel sorry for the people who arrive at a certain age and believe they have learned all there is to learn.  They are missing out on a lot of blessings. 

#11 - My Family on this side of the Ocean

Armando and Noemi - our pastor & his wife

Martha - dear friend and confidant

I am a relationship type person.  I am an extrovert.  I love people, I find my energy being around people, and I always believe there is room for one more at the table, in the car, or in my life.  But one day, very soon after we arrived in Spain, I realized I didn't really have any of that any more.  I struggled.  I cried.  I pitched quite a few temper tantrums with God.  The phone never rang (unless it was a telemarketer in Spanish and I had no idea what he was saying).  The doorbell never rang (unless it was the mailman wanting in the building to deliver mail).  My table always had the same 4 (don't get me wrong - I love sharing a meal with my family, but I love the variety of life that comes with new people around the table).  I stayed connected with those on the other side of the ocean, but on this side - well, it was plain lonely!  Yet, as time passed new family grew.  Teammates, teachers Alex's school, Spanish friends, neighbors, and the church became my family on this side of the ocean.  Tough times came and passed and without these people I would have packed up and gone home.  When "issues" have arisen on either side they have been here to support and encourage.  This fall, when we went through a breast cancer scare I realized that I do now have family on this side of the ocean.  WhatsApp messages arrived before, during and after every appointment.  Offers to go with me to appointments and meals during the biopsy recover time.  Prayers abundantly filled the gap and let me know that I wasn't walking through this alone.  The coffee invitations are more frequent, the walks with a friend more common, the "I'm praying for you" comments come regularly, and the revolving door of friends and family has returned to the front of our house.  At our table you often find new faces.  The sound of messages can be heard throughout the day.  Laughter in the streets is no longer a spectator sport.  God has definitely blessed with me with a surrogate family here in Spain - and I am blessed beyond measure.

#12 - My Family on the other side of the Ocean

US team in 2012

Send off party

Robin and a few days of girl fun

September 30, 2011 will always be burned into my memory.  Standing in the airport with family and friends and saying goodbye.  As we walked down the hall to our plane, leaving behind all that felt "comfortable," I felt alone.  I felt like I was letting go of every relationship I had ever experienced and was fearful that the goodbye we had just said was permanent.  I shed quite a few tears over the next 15 hours as we waved goodbye in Greensboro and hello in Madrid.  Yet, my family and friends have been faithful over the 3+ years.  I have said that an ocean is a great proving ground for relationships and I am so thankful for those that have stood the test of time and distance.  My family has been incredibly supportive.  I know it was not hard for my parents to let us go - to say goodbye to
their grandkids (and daughter).  My sister knew with this move that if my parents needed help it

John & Jacqui from SC - visiting in Spain with our Spanish pastor & family

would all fall on her, and yet she let us go.  Our oldest son knew he was being left behind, shed a few tears, and let us go.  For the first year, one friend sent me a facebook message everyday!  Another friend, for the entire 3+ years we have been here has responded to every email newsletter with words of encouragement.  Other friends pop up with short (and sometimes long) emails just sharing how life is going and asking about mine.  Facebook chats, gmail chats, imessages, skype calls, magic jack calls (even from 3 couples who called in the middle of the night because they were all together and thinking of us - and unfortunately not thinking about the time difference), emails, care packages, snail mail, .... have all been cherished.  Friends and family have stood in the gap for us as parents as well - helping Hannah have a place to live, a job, move in to college, find a car, treat her to a family dinner and games, take her tailgating, sending her care packages.  I daily thank God for these people in my life and I pray that they too know how thankful I am for them.

Oh the Sights You Will See - #7, 8, and 9

Spain is a culture that walks a lot more I was used to when moved here.  There are times when I still prefer to get in the car and go somewhere, but I really will miss the walking when we are in the states next year.  We walk to do small errands, we walk to go out to eat, we walk to catch the bus, ....  Every time that I go out with time to enjoy the walk I see something new.  I love it!

#7  Locals selling their vegetables

Throughout our pueblo you will encounter different Spaniards sitting out by a card table with their fresh produce.  This is almost always produce from their own garden and you never know what you will find.  As I was walking through town today I stopped at three different "tables" hoping to find sweet potatoes, but no luck.  I did chat with older man (had to be 70+) who actually had his table set up on a sidewalk that was only as wide as his table.  Everyone had to walk in the street to get around his table.  What adventures!

#8  Las Abuelas

Age does not slow down the people from walking.  I love to walk down the small narrow streets of the town where you will find the abuelas (grandmas).  They are either pushing their grocery carts through the town or walking arm in arm with a friend.   They have one volume so it is impossible to not hear their conversations.  Today I overheard two ladies talking about how fun it is to watch their grand kids taking their first steps.  I have decided that when I have grand kids (hey kids - no hurry) I want to be called abuelita (little grandma). 

39  The Crazy Sights

Of course not everything you see when you are out walking is loving or beneficial.  There are of course crazy things that make you shake your head.  For example, today I passed an older man beating a tree in his yard with a broom.  He was trying to get all the dried leaves off the tree so that he could rake them all at once.  Then at another intersection where I was trying to cross the street I had to wait on a car that was backing all the way down the street.  It was a one way street and the car apparently didn't want to go around the block so he just backed up instead.  Of course there is also the cathedral that is being built out of all recycled materials, three wheeled motorcycles, pink mopeds, and one of my all time favorite - motorcycles with tops.  Also not uncommon to see someone in a wheel chair being pushed down the middle of the street or a child riding push toy through the grocery store.  I love how this culture always surprises me and very often keeps me smiling!

#4, 5, and 6 - It is all about FOOD

Where has the month gone?  It is flying by and life is so full I am at times not sure which way is up.  I guess it is appropriate that I am too busy to blog (I didn't move to Spain to sit at home), but I miss time for writing.  Still dream of writing a book - but when in the world would I have to write?

#4 - Smell of fresh baked bread

Today I walked around the corner to buy a loaf of bread for lunch (yes, we buy fresh bread everyday - a loaf of bread is 0.45€, about $0.56.  When I got there today the owner told me that the type of bread I wanted wasn't ready and I could wait 5 minutes or buy a different type.  5 minutes?  Oh my, definitely worth the wait for hot, fresh out of the oven bread.  So, yes I bought two loaves - one to snack on while walking home and one to actually have at lunch. 

#5 - Gifts that Keep On Giving

Within the first six months of our arrival in Spain, a couple of friends sent us a care package.  Inside the care package were two 9" cake pans.  Spaniards don't bake cakes the same size or shape that Americans do and thus my recipes just weren't turning out.  Saturday is Alex's 16th birthday and I pulled out the pans today to make him a cake to take to a youth retreat this weekend.  Every time I bake a cake I breathe a thank you to those gals that sent me the pans.

#6 - Adaptability

When we first arrived (more than 3 years ago - who can believe that?) I was face a recipe or a craving with the thought "can I get that in Spain?"  now I face those same recipes/cravings with "how can I do that here?"  Yes, there are still things that I want sent in care packages and brought along with every friend or team - JIF peanut butter, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Miracle Whip, Italian Salad dressing mix, and a few other things.  It used to be stressful to approach a recipe with questions of how do I do that.  Now it is fun and brings lots of contentment to decide how to make a taste of home with ingredients I can find here!  Love that God is changing is me!

#3 - Siestas & Sobremesa

Last night we hosted a couple from Guatemala for dinner.  We met him in 2011, right after we moved to Spain.  He was here for a about six months, was single, and was learning the culture and serving in churches.  He has now returned to Spain for two months with his wife to study the different ministry sites and to allow his wife to experience Spain as they pray about moving to Spain long term.
 
We laughed, shared, ate homemade pizza and chocolate chip pie, told our stories and heard theirs, and then all of a sudden looked at the time - and he proclaims "es casi el Martes."  In other words, it is almost Tuesday (very near midnight).  We were still at the dining room table!

Today, as the alarm went off I was very grateful to be here and realize that I didn't have to make it to 9:00 tonight before I can stop (after English clubs).  It is perfectly acceptable to stop in the middle of the day for a siesta!

Ahh - I love the schedule of Spain and the slow time spent around the table.  There is a cultural expectation of "sobremesa."  Which means, over the table.  My Spanish friend defined it as "time you spend surrounded by good friends at the same table or seat where you have had coffee, lunch, dinner or merienda with the single purpose to enjoy the company and the chat."  Meals here are not just for getting your nutrition, but instead are for relationship building.  Very rarely do people eat and run from the table.  This is a custom we have come to love and will definitely miss when we are not here.  I wonder if we can convince our friends and family in the states that lunch and dinner should last 2 hours?

#2 - New Perspective

A New Perspective

I realized yesterday that God has given me the ability to see life from a new perspective.  Things in Spain (and probably everywhere else) never go as planned.  No matter how hard you try to plan and consider the possibilities of change, in Spain it is impossible.  In fact, yesterday, a friend said she wakes up every morning wondering how today's plans will change.

When we first arrived here I found these constant unexpected changes to be obstacles and frustrations.  I found myself constantly judging the Spanish culture and people for their lack of ability to be as organized as I was or as efficient as I desired.  Yesterday, I realized that God had changed that perspective.

We had a rare Saturday with no commitments.  The weather was warm and sunny (especially for November 1).  We have learned to seize the moments and decided to use the day to head to the mountains for hike in an area we had recently heard of.  After a leisurely morning, we packed a picnic and headed out.  The trip should have been about an hour and fifteen minutes, but we hit some traffic and it took longer.   We then of course stopped for second breakfast - our favorite tradition of family days out.  Finally we were ready to head up the mountain - we were less than 8 km away from our destination.  Then all changed.

Apparently all of Spain thought it was a great day for walk in the mountains.  The park was closed due to being at capacity.  You could not drive up to the park nor could you take the public buses.  It was 1:00 and we were told we were welcome to come back after lunch and see if the crowds had gone down.




Here we were - 120 km from home, picnic packed, plans all made, and instead of moving forward, we were at a roadblock.  It was then that I realized God had done a work in me.  The old Cindy would have been frustrated and irritated that we had done all this work and now we couldn't enjoy our plans.  I would have pouted and sulked.  Instead all 3 of us said, "so what's next?"

We wandered the town, seeing another beautiful church.  Then we headed toward home.  We saw a brown sign (these are historic markers) and decided to check it out.  Turned out it was a famous pre-historic site.  We later walked through a garden where plans have been sculpted into a variety of shapes and finally stopped for a picnic.  We ended the day with popcorn for dinner and watching a movie together as a family. 

What fun it is to see life change before your eyes without it increasing your blood pressure!

November - Another 30 days of Thankfulness

As I realize how little I have written over the past months I have begun to wonder is there a need to even have a blog any more.  Then I think of all that is ahead of us and behind us and I can't imagine not sharing it.  So, here I am, November staring me in the face and challenging me to once again express my thankfulness.  Hopefully this month as I express my thankfulness I will also open the window to our life a little wider. 

The Privilege to Life in Spain

Sometimes I just complain about how hard things are or I dream of another life, and yet I have been given one incredible privilege - the opportunity to live and work in Spain.  Spain is a gorgeous country with a deep history.  The people value relationships more than anything else, and thus, after the passing of time, I have a group of friends that stop life just to chat with me.  

In October we have seen mountains, castles, churches (from the days before anyone was even dreaming of traveling to America), gardens, and more that proclaim the beauty of God!  We have laughed and cried with friends.  We have tasted new Spanish cuisine (some that I liked and some that go in the "interesting" list).  

The world is a huge place and I am thankful that God has allowed me to be here in Spain.  I cannot imagine another country where I would have rather that God sent me.