Thursday, January 8, 2015

#18 - Home? Where's That?

One of the biggest topics of conversation among missionaries is the topic of home.  Where is it?  It isn't here and it isn't there.  We talk at length about this and it's impact on the kids of missionaries.  Our hearts have become divided.  How can we not love our native homeland?  We have friends, family, understandable customs, favorite foods, and a language that we have understood since babies.  And yet, how can we not love our new homeland?  We have friends, family, favorite foods, new customs that we have adapted, and ok - a language that some of the time we understand?

As we begin to think and plan for our 4 to 6 months in the states this spring, this divided heart becomes so evident (and maybe a little psychosis too).  One day I am so excited about going "home" and then the next I am crying that I am leaving "home."  (told you a little psychosis)  I want to be here and I want to be there.

What do I call here?  What do I call there?

We have all experienced it differently.  Hannah lived here (Spain) for a year and then returned to the states for college.  Spain was never really home, yet in the states where is her home?  Her dorm room?  Alex left the states in middle school and as a boy, maintained very little contact back in the states.  All his friends (and girlfriend) are in Spain.  He misses lots of things from the states - grandparents, siblings, and food - oh how long is his list of missed foods.  He is struggling with going back "home."  He wants to know if he really needs 4 months in the states.  Scott has to be gone for the full six months and he keeps saying it is too long.  He can't wait to see his mom and our older son and friends (and taste an Outback steak), but on the other hand does he really need six months.  I am jealous that I only will be there for 4 months.  Being a girl (and facebook junkie) I have kept up with "everyone" and have promised coffee with a hundred people.  And yet, somewhere in that excitement comes the pangs of disappointment that I won't be here.

Here is a good article on this topic of going home.  We are already praying for our hearts and attitudes and tongues as we prepare to leave and arrive.  Will you also pray for us?

But what does this have to do with my thankfulness list?  Somewhere in the middle of this crazy logic of mine, I have realized how blessed I am.  I am thankful that I get to live in two "homes."  I am thankful that I have friends and new "family" on both sides of the ocean.  I am thankful that God was faithful to sustain us we made Spain home.  Not everyone gets this blessing!

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