#18 - Home? Where's That?

One of the biggest topics of conversation among missionaries is the topic of home.  Where is it?  It isn't here and it isn't there.  We talk at length about this and it's impact on the kids of missionaries.  Our hearts have become divided.  How can we not love our native homeland?  We have friends, family, understandable customs, favorite foods, and a language that we have understood since babies.  And yet, how can we not love our new homeland?  We have friends, family, favorite foods, new customs that we have adapted, and ok - a language that some of the time we understand?

As we begin to think and plan for our 4 to 6 months in the states this spring, this divided heart becomes so evident (and maybe a little psychosis too).  One day I am so excited about going "home" and then the next I am crying that I am leaving "home."  (told you a little psychosis)  I want to be here and I want to be there.

What do I call here?  What do I call there?

We have all experienced it differently.  Hannah lived here (Spain) for a year and then returned to the states for college.  Spain was never really home, yet in the states where is her home?  Her dorm room?  Alex left the states in middle school and as a boy, maintained very little contact back in the states.  All his friends (and girlfriend) are in Spain.  He misses lots of things from the states - grandparents, siblings, and food - oh how long is his list of missed foods.  He is struggling with going back "home."  He wants to know if he really needs 4 months in the states.  Scott has to be gone for the full six months and he keeps saying it is too long.  He can't wait to see his mom and our older son and friends (and taste an Outback steak), but on the other hand does he really need six months.  I am jealous that I only will be there for 4 months.  Being a girl (and facebook junkie) I have kept up with "everyone" and have promised coffee with a hundred people.  And yet, somewhere in that excitement comes the pangs of disappointment that I won't be here.

Here is a good article on this topic of going home.  We are already praying for our hearts and attitudes and tongues as we prepare to leave and arrive.  Will you also pray for us?

But what does this have to do with my thankfulness list?  Somewhere in the middle of this crazy logic of mine, I have realized how blessed I am.  I am thankful that I get to live in two "homes."  I am thankful that I have friends and new "family" on both sides of the ocean.  I am thankful that God was faithful to sustain us we made Spain home.  Not everyone gets this blessing!

#17 - A Little More Adventure

Before we moved to Spain I was the cautious one and Scott (husband) was the adventurous one.  I often chose to watch from the sidelines and was perfectly content that way.   However, nothing like moving to a foreign country to kick you out of your comfort zone and build a little sense of adventure in you.

The sun was shining today and the temperatures reached double digits (in Celsius) so we packed a picnic (it's King's Day and everything is closed so we were prepared) and headed to Villaflores - a ghost town.  Alex and I enjoyed climbing through deserted buildings and even up a tree.  There was an old "pigeonary" that I desperately wanted to explore, but the only entry was a couple feet up and I couldn't figure out how to climb up.  I am wondering if I can take a ladder back next time.

Such a list of things for which to be thankful...

... the history of Spain

... the sunshine today

... family time

... adventure

We Interrupt the Regular Scheduled Program with....

..... Life.

I had such great intentions.  My Thanksgiving list was growing in my head and I wanted to use the things for which I am thankful to give you a glimpse into our life here.  I wanted you to see the funny, crazy, sad, stressful, amazing, chaotic, unbelievable life we have been allowed to live.  I wanted you to feel like you were here (or at least wishing you were here).  And then, it happened again.  The great intentions got overwhelmed by life.

When I last left you Alex was turning 16 - in the middle of November and here it is the beginning of January.  Somewhere in those days I helped host 80 coworkers from a war torn country for their annual retreat and time of respite and renewal.  I cooked Thanksgiving for 60 - Norman Rockwell style - followed by a second Thanksgiving for only 20 this time.  And yes, Norman Rockwell style again.  Then there was the laundry that takes 3 days to dry because we hit cold wet weather season.  Alex had exams.  Hannah and her boyfriend and another friend arrived for 3 weeks.  Christmas was in there (and today is King's Day so the holiday season in Spain is still going).  We continued with four English clubs, relationships, teaching at the church and at the school, and... Well, just all of life.

The things that were essential floated to the top and the things that were ok to let slide, slid away.  I used to stress and feel guilty and fret over things sliding away.  I used to miss the importance of the moment in front of me because I felt bad I wasn't doing a lot of other "good" things.  For me, everything was essential and urgent and necessary.  

Life in Spain has taught me otherwise.  Everything does not have the same sense of urgency or priority.  Failure does not equal not doing everything.  Failure equals not knowing what you have to do and what is ok to not to do.  This life has taught me to slow down and evaluate my to do list.  This life has taught me that people, attitude, presence, and peace are a whole lot more important than most things that I let slide on my list. 

Life in Spain is slower and more "tranquila."  To many Americans that means that Spaniards work less or are lazy.  Shoot - they take siesta everyday.  How can you not think that?  But as we live here and experience the culture, we know that is not true.  Spaniards are hard workers.  They have a true work ethic.  They may take siesta in the middle of the day, but their work day does not end at 5:00.  Many work until 8 or 9.  Yes, many take the month of August off - but they take no other vacation days (only the government holidays) the rest of the year. 

But Spain has taught me that to live life slower and more tranquil means I can savor moments, enjoy friendships, and literally (and figuratively) stop to smell the roses.  I may cross off a few less things on my to do list, but I will be a lot more likely to leave the sweet fragrance of Jesus where I walk and I will meet some incredible people.  I will invest in relationships and I will be part of a community.  So, the laundry might hang an extra day, the blog might go 6 weeks with no new post, and the dishes might sit in the sink over night - but I will have laughed and cried with friends and I will have invested in people instead of my to do list.

So, #16 (on my Thanksgiving list) is an expression of gratitude for life getting in the way.